i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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