Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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