she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
