guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
