I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
