So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
