Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
