Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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