The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Michael Bay diarrhea
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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