I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
