Got a toothbrush?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
