so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
