i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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