I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
