Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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