ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
