i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
