ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
