I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
