i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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