Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
