He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
