just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
