butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
