sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
