I need to stop coming to work sober
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
and you fell through a lawn chair
We need to get me chipped asap
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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