Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
