hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
