I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
