He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
