Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
