You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
