get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
