Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
