I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
