I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
