haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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