.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
