hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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