No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
