The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it glows. i had to have it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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