The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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