So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
