Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
