ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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