we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
