I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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