Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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