What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
