Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
