mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's just so happy...and so naked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
